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THE INCREDIBLES
Disney’s latest CGI spectacular surpassed my cynical expectation that they were quickly running out of ideas, to wind up as something absolutely outstanding in nearly every respect. Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter and Samuel L. Jackson (underused here, sadly) head up the voicing cast in this dynamic tale of a family of superheroes, forced into retirement and witness protection due to a civilian backlash against their activities. When Mr Incredible discovers that former superheroes are being mysteriously wiped out, however, he secretly springs back into action to find himself faced with a new enemy... Not only is it fast, funny and highly innovative, but the quality of the visuals and their cinematography is breathtaking. I defy you all not to be thoroughly entertained by this masterpiece of popular cinema - it may have become a horrible film critic cliche to say it but this is, basically, incredible.
MAN ON FIRE
Underrated mini-masterpiece from Top Gun director Tony Scott; a retelling of a true story and a heartfelt attack on the lenient crime syndication of Mexico. It stars the always-reliable Denzel Washington as strong, silent American bodyguard John Creasy, sent to Mexico to work for a business entrepreneur and his American wife as full-time watchman to their gifted and inquisitive young daughter, in the wake of the growing child abduction rate in Mexico. As the pair form an unlikely bond, the girl is suddenly kidnapped by extortionists and reportedly murdered, and a vengeful Creasy embarks on a murderous justice spree, vowing to bring down every single man who was involved in any way. Scott’s focussed, brooding direction keeps this poignant tale well above average, Washington is compellingly superb as the repressed loner and Christopher Walken, still one of my favourites, provides ample support as his closest friend Rayburn. The ending, if you’re lucky, may just bring a tear to your eye.
SHARK TALE
Unfairly dismissed by critics on its release, this was actually a substantially enjoyable CGI flick, with enough broad family appeal, subtle adult references and daft visual gags to keep everybody happy. In an obvious response to Disney’s Finding Nemo, DreamWorks presents their own star-studded underwater tale - of the shark mafia! Will Smith puts in a likable star turn as fish-about-town Oscar, whose devil-may-care attitude gets him in trouble when the eldest son of mafia boss Don Limo (a quirky Robert DeNiro) is accidentally killed by his younger brother Lenny (a hilariously unrecognisable Jack Black) - and Oscar believes he was responsible, causing the media to label him the heroic “Shark Slayer!” Whilst he enjoys the highs of success, including affections of high-class leech Lena (Angelina Jolie), he is secretly pined for by his longtime best friend Angie (Renee Zellweger). A lot of nice little jokes here, including the fact that most of the main cast’s fish characters look like their real-life faces, made this just as good, I think, as Nemo.
THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
US-helmed biopic of one of my all-time heroes, based on Roger Lewis’s book, turned into a very touching and ridiculously quirky little picture, thanks primarily to the stellar cast and frantic, leftfield direction. Geoffrey Rush, who should get an Oscar for every film he’s ever done, (but will ridiculously be excluded from nomination for this due to its release on HBO) is possibly more like Sellers than Sellers was, as he gives a tour-de-force performance of the great man, given the opportunity to play versions of the many different people in his life, cleverly playing on not only the Sellers tradition of multiple roles in his films, but also the romanticised myth of his multiple personalities. Outstanding supporting cast includes Charlize Theron, who is just one of the best women in the world ever, doing an eerily good Britt Ekland; John Lithgow (genius) as Pink Panther creator Blake Edwards; cult favourite Emily Watson as his put-upon first wife Anne; and Miriam Margolyes as his devoted mother, to whom he had a close relationship. One of my favourites of last year; a moving, entertaining and genuinely fascinating portrait of a man whom no-one in the world, not even himself, really understood.
GARDEN STATE
Receiving rave reviews in America when it was released, this is the debut film project of one Zach Braff, better known to canny Brit audiences as JD in Scrubs. He writes, directs and stars in this distinctly indie film as failing actor Andrew Largeman, who returns to his hometown for his mother’s funeral and meets up with a plethora of old ‘acquaintances’ he once knew. Hopeless and dejected, he is one day sitting in the doctor’s waiting room when he meets Sam (Natalie Portman), who is smart, beautiful, alternative and a pathological liar. Although seemingly quite different, through shared loneliness these two gradually develop an intimate bond away from the harsh realities of life - with tagalong support from Large’s best pal (indie darling Peter Sarsgaard) providing comic relief. With basically the same plot as Lost In Translation, it’s done quite differently and aimed more directly at a younger generation. Performances likable, sweet story and a great watch for anyone feeling lonely, but some of the hype it has received as peerlessly wonderful is perhaps a touch OTT.
BAD SANTA
The first time in a long time I plucked up the courage to see a Christmas movie was, rather surprisingly, worth every penny. In its own way, it was sort of a very contemporary take on A Christmas Carol… However, it does come with rather culty credentials, being produced by the Coen brothers and starring their regular cohort Billy Bob Thornton. BB plays a luckless, washed-up and deeply unpleasant department store Santa Claus who spits, swears, smokes, drinks, steals and screws barmaids with Santa fetishes at will. He ends up with more than he bargained for when he somehow becomes custodian to an anonymous, fat, sociopathic ten-year-old after taking up ‘residence’ in his rather rich household. Through a series of delightfully un-PC jokes, profane spats of vulgarity and visual gags, these two odd souls somehow connect and BB manages to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in his rather strained heart. It’s not going to be for everybody, but the sheer vulgarity and no-holds-barred sense of humour will delight anyone with a juvenile streak.
WHITE NOISE
An enormously welcome return to the big screen for Michael Keaton, still one of the most criminally underrated Hollywood actors ever (if only he’d make more GOOD films!) in a not half-bad horror/thriller flick about Electric Voice Phenomenon or EVP - the practice of contacting the dead via electrical tuning and radio signals. In a suitably intense performance, Keaton plays John Rivers, an advertising exec whose wife is mysteriously killed in a road accident; and is soon approached by a mysterious man who claims to have spoken to her from beyond the grave. In between taking care of his son, Rivers is sucked deeper into the practice of EVP to the point of obsession, as he gets closer to discovering the truth about his wife’s death, and to contacting the woman herself... It all gets a smidge ridiculous towards the end, but the action is tense and engaging, the characters fairly well-written and the obligatory ‘jumpy’ moments exceptionally well-timed and effective. I get the impression I may not have enjoyed it quite as much had it not been for Keaton, as his copious screen time allows to him to carry the film and make a credible job of it. Not groundbreaking but definitely worth a watch, and a must for avid Keatoners like myself.
NATIONAL TREASURE
An old-style adventure flick and a much-missed kind of genre film; the kind that makes perfect popcorn entertainment. A positively star-studded cast is headed by the ever-reliable Nicolas Cage as Ben Gates, intrepid explorer-type with a family who have been searching for a legendary treasure for 200 years. Brushing aside protests from his father (Jon Voight) to ignore the wide-eyed storytelling of his grandfather (Christopher Plummer), he discovers on an Arctic expedition that the clue to the treasure’s whereabouts is on the back of the Declaration of Independence - and gets caught up in a race with corrupted former associate Ian Howe (Sean Bean) to get the document safely protected, trailing reluctant hot anthropologist (Diane Kruger) and protege sidekick (Justin Bartha) behind him - whilst also being hunted down by CIA agent Sadusky (Harvey Keitel). A distinctly Indiana Jones-alike adventure which, like so many of its type, requires a little disbelief suspension, is powered by the great cast, particularly Bean who makes an effectively menacing British villain, complete with flowing terrorist hairdo. Not particularly original, but good fun.
LEMONY SNICKET’S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
Based on the best-selling and distinctly dark “kiddul
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PEOPLE WITH STANDING AND POWER
"Think of life as a big cake; take each piece as it comes." Anonymous "In life, never be afraid of moving forward slowly. Only be afraid of standing still." Chinese proverb "There are two things that are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. And we're still not sure about the Universe." Albert Einstein "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today." James Dean "Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. You don't know whether you're in a trough till you're climbing out on a peak till you're coming down." David Brent, The Office "A lifetime in the company of Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil." Edmund Blackadder, Blackadder The Third "That's when you know you've found someone really special - when you can just the shut the fuck up and comfortably share silence." Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction. "I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me!" Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
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