Well, as the Top 5 Albums page failed spectacularly to attract any attention whatsoever, I give you all a slightly more populist format that I'm just as happy to champion on these web-like constitutions. So... TOP 5 FILMS AHOY!!!!! Ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls, animals, babies, and anything else you might have had the depravity to turn yourself into (Benny), I urge you now to contribute something to this as I really, really can't decide on one myself, IT'S TOO DAMN DIFFICULT!!! Well, OK, I'll put in my favourite films of the moment, but this isn't definitive. So don't send me any silly emails with "why the hell is ????? in your top 5, that's even more shite than what I did in the loo this morning", because, I repeat, IT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. Right? Good. Following the appalling abundance of MC Hammer in Top 5 Singles, however, a few restrictions are going to be made here. Hence, you aren't allowed to include -

• Dude, Where's My Car. The word 'travesty' doesn't begin to cover it.
• Freddy Got Fingered. Same reason.
• The Cable Guy. Enough to almost make you lose faith in Jim "God" Carrey.
• Amelie. Great film, but a horrible student cliche to include it in these lists.
• Honey, I Blew Up The Kid. Or, for that matter, any film that begins with the word "Honey".
• Gladiator. Because it is SHIT.
• Titanic. Because it is EVEN SHITTIER.
• Pulp Fiction. ............Only joking.

1. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino)
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (Gore Verbinski)
3. The Return of the Pink Panther (Blake Edwards)
4. Blazing Saddles (Mel Brooks)
5. Lost In Translation (Sofia Coppola)

ANDY'S ALL-TIME TOP 5!

1. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino)
2. High Fidelity (Stephen Frears)
3. The Usual Suspects (Bryan Singer)
4. Shrek (Andrew Adamson/Vicky Jenson)
5. Reservoir Dogs (Quentin Tarantino)

MATT'S TOP 5 OF RECENT TIMES...

1. Donnie Darko (Richard Kelly)
2. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (Quentin Tarantino)
3. Finding Nemo (Andrew Stanton)
4. Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Peter Jackson)
5. 28 Days Later (Danny Boyle)

DEAN'S ALL-TIME TOP 5!

1. The Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont)
2. The Godfather Part I&II (Francis Ford Coppola)
3. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino)
4. The Usual Suspects (Bryan Singer)
5. Donnie Darko (Richard Kelly)

FROSTY'S TOP 5 IN SOME VAGUE ORDER

1. The Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont)
2. The Godfather Part II (Francis Ford Coppola)
3. Heat (Michael Mann)
4. The Last Of The Mohicans (Michael Mann)
5. The Usual Suspects (Bryan Singer)

LAURA'S TOP....3?

1. American Beauty (Sam Mendes)
2. The Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont)
3. Cool Runnings (Jon Turteltaub)

BENNY'S ALL TIME TOP 5!

1. The Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kershner)
2. The Matrix (The Wachowski Brothers)
3. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Peter Jackson)
4. Aliens (James Cameron)
5. Kill Bill Vol. 1&2 (Quentin Tarantino)

I wouldn't normally do this, but following an abundance of silly votes I have decided with enormous reluctance to remove The Usual Suspects from the "can't have" list. For full, uncontained rant on this, I direct you to the Message Forum...

If I had a big shotgun...